You're The Average of The Five People You Spend Your Time With

Written by Ed Johnson

24 January 2024

“You’re the average of the five people you spend the most time with.”

I often think about this quote. I think about how we are a product of our surroundings. I think about how the people whose energy we feed off can have a large impact on our own success, failure, outcomes and general approach to life. As children, particularly young children, we don’t have any control over this. Whether it be our parents or parental figures, siblings and wider family members, we learn so much from these people. Yet, as we grow up, I have a feeling that society thinks less consciously about who we become. Often thinking that because we’re in our teens, or have reached adulthood, that we have formed and we are the person we always will be, regardless of those we surround ourselves with. Childhood friendships remain and new friendships formed are perhaps less conscious decisions and sometimes that can be a good thing, other times that can be a hindrance.

As an entrepreneur and founder, and as someone who has worked closely with HR and learning leaders, for my business, PushFar, I am acutely aware that I’m constantly learning, evolving, developing and growing. I sometimes fear that people stop thinking about consciously and actively learning, once they become adults. People think they know what they need to. They don’t grow. Don’t evolve. Don’t progress. Perhaps that desire not to learn comes from an association with the horror of exams, revision, homework and, more generally, the tedium most people find in school. Yet, and I expect full well that this is as a result of my interest in mentoring, I know how much we stand to learn from those we surround ourselves with.

Below are just a few reasons why, as an entrepreneur and founder, I make a really conscious effort to surround myself with those who inspire and push me to achieve more. Whatever your profession and whoever you are, think about who you are spending your time with and make a conscious effort to spend your time with the right people for you.

The Influence of Surroundings
In the admittedly rollercoaster ride of entrepreneurship, with late nights, early mornings and total dedication to a business or project, our surroundings can carry an immense influence on our character and decisions. Social influence undoubtedly impacts attitudes, behaviours, and aspirations. For me and I’m sure the same can be said for most founders and entrepreneurs, entrepreneurship requires resilience, innovation, and a growth mindset. These qualities are all strengthened with the right friends and connections. People who know how hard it is and people who can understand what you’re going through. Fellow entrepreneurs are good, in small doses, but for me it was important to not only have founders around me but also those who could give me perspective and, admittedly, a reality-check from time to time. All work and no play is never good. The right friends get that balance, and keep you on track.

The Power of Positive Vibes
Positive energy is contagious. It is something that I actively seek in those I choose to spend my time with. Passionate, positive, caring and thoughtful individuals who tackle challenges with optimism and commitment have, undoubtedly, become pillars of support for me. When surrounded by positivity, I find that creativity flourishes, confidence strengthens, and progress becomes more tangible. Conversely, a toxic or negative environment can stifle my creativity and erode confidence. As a founder, I truly appreciate the importance of a support system that uplifts during tough times (and goodness knows there are always tough times as a founder), providing encouragement and constructive feedback, rather than sowing seeds of doubt or negativity.

Shared Values are Vital
In building an “inner circle” (ugh, this sounds insincere, or like I’m a bit of d**k, but it’s really not meant to), aligning yourself and your values to that of your friends is paramount. Most of us do this subconsciously anyway, I’m certain. We gravitate towards those who hold the same values and care about the same things. Successful collaboration often stems from a shared vision and values. Working with like-minded individuals fosters effective communication, streamlined decision-making, and a unified purpose in tackling challenges head-on. Whether it be friends or colleagues, knowing what your values are is really important. It is why organisations have, increasingly, put so much time and effort into describing their values.

The Impact of Mentors
Now, obviously, being me, I would talk about mentoring. Mentorship has been a really integral of my entrepreneurial journey. After all, it’s what PushFar, as a business, is all about. The careful selection of mentors has been a game-changer. A mentor who’s experience can provide invaluable guidance and offer constructive criticism, has significantly accelerated my learning curve and helped me to avoid repeating mistakes that they have made.

However, discernment is more than a “nicety” in choosing your mentor; between genuine mentors invested in growth and those with ulterior motives. Seeking mentors with relevant industry knowledge and a commitment to honest and constructive feedback has been crucial in shaping my entrepreneurial path.

Watch the Red Flags
In the fast-paced world of entrepreneurship, time is a precious commodity. Indeed, for everyone, time is a precious commodity but I see entrepreneurs impatient and even more acutely aware of this. Recognizing red flags, such as consistent negativity, lack of commitment, or conflicting values, is imperative.

I’m not proposing a review of all your friends and contacts to “cull” the ones that don’t add value. What I am saying is that as I am now far more conscious about who I spend my time with, their values, their work ethics, their thoughtfulness and the impact of their personality on mine. Don’t forget to take stock, pause and reflect, from time to time, about who you spend your time with and the importance of this.